TV CASUALTY – 6/3/2014

There are enough vintage sci-fi, retro horror, and film noir flicks on display this June to choke a donkey.  My only regret is that we can’t all watch them together at the drive-in.  Speaking of which, you may want to double check your basic cable package to see if EPIX Drive-In has been added.  It is ridiculously awesome with megatons of B-movie horror, giant monster, sci-fi, blaxploitation and regular ol’ exploitation films.  As a result, my day time narcolepsy has never been worse.

TUESDAY, JUNE 03, 2014 – The Final Frontier on TCM

• 8:00 PM 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
• 10:45 PM Alien (1979)
• 1:00 AM Destination Moon (1950)
• 2:30 AM Marooned (1969)
• 4:45 AM Queen of Outer Space (1958)
  Starring the lovely and talented Zsa Zsa Gabor in some prime MST3k bait

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 04, 2014

• 8:00 PM She (1965) – TCM

SATURDAY, JUNE 7, 2014

• The Shadow of the Cat (1961) – MeTv
  Svengoolie vs Hammer Films all this month!

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 11, 2014

• 12:00 AM The Wild Bunch (1969) – TCM
  Allegedly this is one of the most awesomely violent westerns ever made.  Tarantino and Joe Bob Briggs are huge fans.

THURSDAY, JUNE 12, 2014

• 11:45 PM Giant (1956) – TCM
  Obligatory James Dean

FRIDAY, JUNE 13, 2014 – Retro Horror Double Feature on TCM

• 3:15 PM Dementia 13 (1963)
• 4:45 PM 13 Ghosts (1960)

SATURDAY, JUNE 14, 2014

• 4:00 PM The Misfits (1961) – TCM
  Starring Marilyn Monroe…..I covered this one here.
• 10:00 PM The Evil of Frankenstein (1964) – MeTV
  Svengoolie + Peter Cushing as Baron Victor Frankenstein = #winning

FRIDAY, JUNE 20, 2014 – Film Noir on TCM

• 6:00 AM The Thin Man (1934)
• 7:45 AM The Maltese Falcon (1941)
• 9:30 AM The Big Sleep (1946)

SATURDAY, JUNE 21, 2014

• 1:45 PM Ocean’s Eleven (1960) – TCM
  The Rat Pack original
• 4:00 PM Bullitt (1968) – TCM
  Steve McQueen, muscle cars, crime, jazz
• 10:00 PM The Curse of the Werewolf (1961) – MeTV
  Svengoolie hosts this outstanding Hammer horror film starring Oliver Reed

SUNDAY, JUNE 22, 2014 – Giant Monsters on TCM

• 8:00 PM Godzilla, King of the Monsters! (1956)
• 9:45 PM Mighty Joe Young (1949)

MONDAY, JUNE 23, 2014

• 5:15 PM The Devil’s Bride (1968) – TCM
  This is probably my favorite Hammer Horror film, ever.  Starring Christopher Lee and inspiring Danzig videos.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 25, 2014

• 12:45 AM The Hoodlum (1951) – TCM
  Lawrence Tierney goin’ all gangsta long before Reservoir Dogs (1992).

SATURDAY, JUNE 28, 2014

• 4:15 PM Five Million Years To Earth (1968) – TCM
• 10:00 PM The Brides of Dracula (1960) – MeTV

 

 

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Random Retro Reaction – 5/14/2014

Last night I was catching up on my DVR and I watched The Misfits (1961) with Marilyn Monroe and Clark Gable.  This was a great film, written by Arthur Miller and directed by John Huston, that centered on a newly divorced woman who met an aging cowboy and just decided to go with it.  There’s a memorable scene where they’re in a saloon at a rodeo with a bunch of drunken cowboys, and Marilyn makes a bet over how many times in a row she can paddle a ping pong ball.  (The action starts at about 0:55.)

So, I’m watching Marilyn with her;

• 1950s-pointy-bra mams
• tiny waist
• fertile hips
• squeezable booty
• small feet
• graceful movements
• wide doe eyes
• delicate jaw line
• and her high-pitched, almost musical, uber-feminine voice

And for some reason I had the following thought,

“If she suddenly started doing kung fu and beating the crap out of all these cowboys….. that would be absolutely f***ing retarded.” 

Fortunately, that didn’t happen, and the story was not ruined.  None the less, I’ve come to the conclusion that in 60-plus years, IF we still have the technology to enable things like films, DVRs and television, people will look at all the action flicks from this decade starring Scarlett Johansson and laugh in much the same way we laugh at “guy in a rubber suit” monster movies from the 1950s.

So, Iron Man 2 (2010), The Avengers (2012), Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014), Lucy (2014), and Avengers 2: Age of Ultron (2015), enjoy your days in the sun, for you will soon be the new Gamera.

UPDATE

Vox Popoli further extends the premise and gets in a couple of really good burns on Joss Whedon.

http://www.voxday.blogspot.com/2014/05/mailvox-pulp-future.html